Little things that aren't little in my head

1. Saving a seat for me when I'm not there. It's just the thought of me before I arrive.
2. Sending me a picture of something that reminded you of me.
3. Asking for my suggestion randomly at 3pm or 4am, simple because you wanted to.
4. Defending me publicly and privately even in my absence.
5. Buying me something just because I mentioned it once on a random day.
6. Knew my palate or things I like by heart and ordering it for me.
7. Wishing me on my BIRTHDAY.
8. Making plans with me.
9. A simple Good Morning text sending in my way.

I never cried…

I never cried to my dad.

Not because I never had fears, wounds, or storms inside me. It just didn’t happen. Never.

I cried to my husband.

About my fears, struggles, all the storms in my head and what not, even about my dad. I never realised how I did that. I was someone who struggled silently and carried my pain with me. But then ‘he’ happened.

He showed up in a ways I couldn’t expect. He stayed and listened no matter how many times I pushed him away. He simply listened. He gave me something I didn’t know I had been longing for the lifetime.

With him, I don’t have to be strong or independent. I can be vulnerable which I didn’t know that it existed in me.

He showed a new me to me and cared for the little girl in me. He loves me with all of his and I started loving myself cause of him.

He became my safest space.

The one who calmed all the storms inside my head and truly stayed.

Love ❤️

If you love someone, you gotta tell them.
Don’t wait for the “right moment.” Don’t assume they know.
Love is meant to be felt, not hidden.

Fight for it.
Show it. In words, in actions, in presence. Every single day, every single time.

Keanu Reeves once said,

“If you don’t fight for your love, what kind of love do you have?”

Let that sink in.

The real magic happens when you step out of your comfort zone,
when you choose to express what your heart feels instead of holding it back.
That’s intimacy. That’s connection. That’s love.

So go tell them.
Call them. Text them. Hug them a little longer.
Before “later” becomes “too late.” ❤️

As a final act of my love

As a final act of my love…

I ran away.
I disappeared.

I saved myself from drowning in your thoughts.
I saved you from being the bad guy in front of your family.
I survived more days without you than the days I had you.
I begged God to take my pain away.

I wished you’d be a better man for the next person.

I prayed for someone to come into your life and treat you well.

I wished you happiness.

I believed you would do great without me.

I hoped you’d find the courage to tell your family what you really want.

Why’s?

I used to wonder why he did it

Why he pushed me away,

Why he made me beg,

Made me cry,

Like my pain meant nothing.

But then it hit me

He knew.

He knew exactly what he was doing

And he chose to do it anyway

With open eyes and steady hands.

That truth didn’t break me.

It woke me.

And with that, I walked away.

Oh, to Be Loved Like That

Oh, to be loved like….

To receive flowers, just ‘cause

To receive chocolates, just ‘cause

To get a phone call, just ‘cause

To receive a text asking whereabouts, just ‘cause

To be clicked in a photo randomly, just ‘cause

To be fed with care, just ‘cause

To fall asleep next to someone you love, just ‘cause

To wake up and see them there, just ‘cause

To have your tears wiped away, just ‘cause

To be given shoulder to cry, just ‘cause

To feel important in someone’s life, just ‘cause

To be reassured, every single damn time, just ‘cause

To be loved by someone you love, just ‘cause

To stay together. To be trusted. To be chosen again and again, just ‘cause.

Am I too good at pretending?

I was okay when I didn’t get to apply to that college. 

I was okay when I found out my friends talked behind my back. 

I was okay when I didn’t get the recognition I worked for. I was okay when I was used as a backup. 

I was okay when people remembered me only when they needed something. 

I was okay when they spread rumours about me. 

I was okay when I didn’t get to experience those fun, teasing pictures with friends. 

I was okay when I couldn’t feel what it’s like to be loved right. 

I was okay when I didn’t get that promotion. 

I was okay when I travelled hundreds of kms just to see a familiar face. 

I was okay when I was told I wasn’t enough. 

I was okay when I was never someone’s priority. 

.… 

But was I really okay? 

Or am I just too good at pretending?