Am I too good at pretending?

I was okay when I didn’t get to apply to that college. 

I was okay when I found out my friends talked behind my back. 

I was okay when I didn’t get the recognition I worked for. I was okay when I was used as a backup. 

I was okay when people remembered me only when they needed something. 

I was okay when they spread rumours about me. 

I was okay when I didn’t get to experience those fun, teasing pictures with friends. 

I was okay when I couldn’t feel what it’s like to be loved right. 

I was okay when I didn’t get that promotion. 

I was okay when I travelled hundreds of kms just to see a familiar face. 

I was okay when I was told I wasn’t enough. 

I was okay when I was never someone’s priority. 

.… 

But was I really okay? 

Or am I just too good at pretending?